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 Here you will find what is required of you legally and in what order your wedding ceremony will take place. A guide for various faiths in the UK and those with non faith weddings.
 Church of England. If you live in the same parish as the church you want to get married in, contact your minister who will explain the banns system to you. Banns are called on three Sundays before the wedding to allow any objections to your union to be raised. If you don’t live in the parish in which you wish to be married, the vicar may still allow you to be added to the parish electoral roll and be considered a regular worshipper. Otherwise, you may apply for a special licence. This doesn’t require you to live in the parish, but needs approval from your chosen vicar and the vicar of your actual parish. Special licenses are granted by The Faculty Office www.facultyoffice.org.uk on behalf of the Archbishop of Canterbury. In the case of second marriages following divorce or bereavement, the decision on whether couples can marry in church lies with the individual ministers.
Church of Scotland. Provided it is conducted by an authorised celebrant, a religious ceremony can take place anywhere, with no residency requirement for marriage. Visit www.churchofscotalnd.org.uk for information. At least 15 days’ and up to three months’ notice must be given at the register office in the district.
The wedding: Guests are seated by the ushers , with the brides’s family and guests on the left of the nave, and the groom’s on the right. The groom and best man arrive about 30 minutes before the ceremony. As the bride arrives, her mother should be shown to the front pew while the bride, her father and attendants wait outside the church. They process down the aisle with the bride on her father’s right arm followed by the attendants. When they reach the front pew , the groom takes his place on the bride’s right-hand side and the bride hands her bouquet to her chief bridesmaid. After the first hymns, readings and the vicars address the marriage itself takes place. The bride’s father takes the bride’s right hand and gives it to the minister, who passes it to the groom. The couple make their vows. The ring(s) are passed to the minister by the best man, after which the father of the bride and the best man take their seats in the front pews. The bride and groom exchange rings, followed by prayers, a hymn and the final blessing. The bride and groom then sign the register with their parents and two witnesses, often the best man and chief bridesmaid. Then the bouquet is given back to the bride and she and the groom lead the procession out of the church, followed by the attendants, the chief bridesmaid with the best man, the bride’s mother with the groom’s father, and lastly the grooms mother with the bride’s father.
 Roman Catholic. Both of you must be free to marry and one of you must be baptised Catholic. Some form of preparation will be required of you. This will be decided upon by the priest. it is usual for a Catholic wedding to take place in the local Church (or either local Church if both partners are practicing Catholics, although preference should be given to the Bride’s Church). That said, a Catholic wedding outside of the locality is perfectly possible, but special permission will need to be obtained from the Roman Catholic authorities if this is the route the couple wishes to head down. In all circumstances, the first port of call should be to the local priest who will advise of the possible and most appropriate course of action. There are two types of Catholic marriage ceremony. One is with Mass and celebrates the Eucharist, which lasts for about an hour. The other is without Mass and only takes about 20 minutes.
The wedding. Entrance rite: there is a procession, which may include a hymn. The priest greets the congregation then the Penitential rite and opening prayers are said. Liturgy of the Word: Bible readings, one from the Old Testament, a responsorial psalm, a New Testament reading, a Gospel acclamation, a Gospel reading and a homily (a practical sermon, not a theological one) The rite of marriage: questions are asked about the couples' faithfulness to one another and their willingness to bring up children. Then the vows are made and the rings are exchanged. Liturgy of the Eucharist: gifts are presented and the altar is prepared. Then the Eucharist prayer is said. Then the following are sung: Sanctus Sanctus, Memorial acclamation and Great Amen. Communion rite: The Lord's Prayer is said which is followed by a nuptial blessing. Then follows the Sign of Peace, Agnus Dei and Communion Hymn (sung). Concluding rite: The final blessing is made, there is a dismissal and the couple kiss. There is a recessional hymn which accompanies everyone out of the church. In a wedding without Mass, the Liturgy of the Eucharist is missed out.
 Jewish. Weddings usually take place in a synagogue but can be held in other venues, particularly for mixed-faith marriages. The bride and the groom have to meet the Rabbi shortly after they get engaged to fix a wedding date and be properly advised. The Hebrew calendar is Lunar and holidays are celebrated on a different day each year. Therefore, this visit is very important. However, the time of the day for wedding is completely left to the couple, and no weddings occur on the Sabbath.
The wedding: It is traditional for the bride and groom to fast on the day of the wedding itself as a symbolic statement to cleanse themselves of sin and come to their marriage with a clean slate.
Although the ceremony has to be under a rabbi's supervision - as they will be familiar with all the laws and customs of the wedding - it does not necessarily have to be performed by a rabbi, as long as one is present. Most couples opt to have a rabbi conduct the ceremony, although it can be performed by a friend or family member, provided they have the permission of a rabbi.
The ceremony itself begins with the signing of the Ketubah - the Jewish marriage contract which sets out the legal terms of the marriage. The signing is done prior to the main ceremony and is in the presence of four witnesses and the officiator of the service. This is accompanied by a ceremony known as Bedecken (veiling), in which the bridegroom places the veil over the bride's face.
There is no rule as to what music can and cannot be played during the ceremony, Most couples opt for traditional Jewish music to be played during the entrance of the bride and after the service - much of this is centuries old.
There is also no firm rule about who escorts the bride to the Chupa, but traditionally it is the bride's father who accompanies her (sometimes both parents will do so). The bride is the last person to enter, and upon reaching the Chupa will walk round the bridegroom several times - this number varies. Some brides walk around their husband-to-be once while more Orthodox brides walk round seven times.
 The civil ceremony. Much the same as a christian wedding in custom and ritual but without the religious aspect. A civil ceremony can take place at a register office or in any premises licensed to hold weddings under the Marriage Act and must be unconnected with any religion. The vows spoken during a civil ceremony are fairly brief, but couples can add their own non-religious readings and music to personalise the service. The bride and groom declare there is no lawful impediment to their marriage and sign the register before two witnesses. Couples can wear whatever they like. Notice of the marriage must be given at your local register office (or offices if you live in different areas) at least 15 days before the wedding. Some couples choose to marry quietly in a register office and have a humanist service of blessing afterwards. This is a non-legal ceremony in which you say your own secular vows. www.humanism.org.uk
Marrying abroad. More and more couples are choosing to marry abroad and combine the wedding with their honeymoon. Overseas weddings are recognised in the UK provided they do not contravene UK laws governing your eligibility to get married, eg you are not underage or you are not waiting for a divorce to come through. There are a number of tour operators that arrange weddings overseas but contact the country’s embassy or consulate directly for advice and to find out which documents you will need to provide and when. Some countries require a minimum stay, usually of between on and seven days and you will probably have to be in the resort of your choice for at least a few days before the ceremony to process any paperwork. Some states in the US ask you for a blood test before they will marry you.
 Hindu. UK law allows for Hindu temples to be registered for marriage according to Hindu rites. The legal requirements are those that apply to civil marriages. The celebrant will explain the legal and religious requirements to the bride and groom to be. The different branches of Hinduism have their own customs and traditions, but wedding traditions also vary from family to family.
The wedding: The celebrant visits the bride’s home a few days before the ceremony to offer prayers and readings, blessing the coming ceremony. The bride’s parents welcome the groom’s family on the evening before the wedding with another small ceremony. During this period the bride and groom are not permitted to see each other for fear of bringing back luck to the marriage.
Before the ceremony the priest blesses the bride’s bangles. It is considered unlucky if she removes them before 40 days have passed. The groom and his wedding party are then received by the bride and her family.
Everyone moves inside the temple where the celebrant calls for Ganesha’s blessing, followed by a prayer. The bride’s maternal uncle and sisters walk her to the wedding tent where her father performs the handing-over ceremony. By spreading turmeric on her hands the bride acknowledges her change in status from daughter and single woman, to wife. Her father places her dyed hand in her groom’s, and he holds it as a symbol of everlasting love. When the bride’s father pours out some of the sacred water he is ‘washing his hands’ of her, while the groom recites Vedic hymns to Kama, the god of love. Three times the groom promises the bride’s father that he will help the bride to realise enlightenment, wealth and true love.
The celebrant ties the bride’s veil to the groom’s shawl while they stand facing each other, symbolising their union. They then exchange garlands and rings. With the bride facing east and the groom west, the groom takes the bride’s hand again, reciting Vedic hymns for longevity, happiness and a lifetime of marriage. Lighting the Marriage Fire represents the divine witness and sanctifies the ceremony, while the ‘sacrifice’ of grains signifies a male relative’s continuing support of the bride and the request for prosperity. Before the ritual of the Seven Steps, the bride and groom walk around the fire seven times offering a mix of sandalwood, herbs, sugar, rice, ghee and twigs, while they pray for the union of their hearts and minds. They also recite Vedic hymns to the gods, calling for wealth, good luck and fidelity. As bride and groom walk, the bride’s sister reads a passage from the Holy scriptures. As each circling of the fire is completed, the bride and groom stand on a stone and pray for their love to hold firm.
The ritual of the Seven Steps is the most important part of the Hindu ceremony. As the bride and groom walk seven steps together, either forwards or round the fire, they ask for an individual blessing at each step, for sustenance, strength, prosperity, bliss, children, longevity and finally, union, devotion and companionship. The ceremony is concluded with a prayer asking for the union to last for life. Once this is completed, the groom and bride are husband and wife. The husband then touches his new wife on the heart, and makes a further verbal vow. A gold chain with black beads is then tied around either the bride or groom’s neck and the husband puts the red powder known as sindhoor in his bride’s hair. Throughout the wedding, the different customs and traditions of each branch of Hinduism are apparent in the ceremony.
Once the groom’s parents have offered a blessing, they welcome their new daughter-in-law with a gift of cloth, or a flower, and the guests shower the newlyweds with flowers that ward off the evil eye and bless the union. The wedding feast is elaborate. Once it is over, the bride says an emotional farewell to her family and leaves to begin her new life.
 Muslim. UK marriage laws allow for mosques to be registered for the solemnisation of marriages according to the rites of the Muslim religion. The legal requirements to be fulfilled are those that apply to civil marriages. However, if the building in which you wish to marry is in a different registration district to where you live, you need to prove to the superintendent registrar that the building is your normal place of worship. If you cannot do this, you will be required to give notice in the registration district in which the building is situated after having met the necessary residency requirements.
If there is no mosque or registered building in the registration district in which you live, you will be permitted to marry in a building in the nearest registration district that has one.
A superintendent registrar may also need to attend the ceremony. If the building in which you intend to marry is not registered for the solemnisation of marriages, you must arrange a civil ceremony beforehand to comply with the requirements of the law.
The wedding: Marriage is considered to be a social activity as well as an act of worship (ibadah). A Muslim marriage ceremony (called Al Nikah) begins with an address of a marriage sermon (khutba-tun-nikah) by the officiator, who can be any worthy Muslim. The sermon invites the bride and groom, as well as their guests, to a life of piety, mutual love, kindness and social responsibility. Beginning with the praise of Allah, His help and guidance is sought. This is followed by the Muslim confession of faith that 'There is none worthy of worship except Allah, and Muhammad is His servant and messenger' is declared. Then the three Qur'anic verses (Qur'an 4:1, 3:102, 33:70-71) and one prophetic saying (hadith) forms the main text of the marriage. This hadith is:
'O by Allah! Among all of you I am the most God-fearing, and among you all, I am the supermost to save myself from the wrath of Allah, yet my state is that I observe prayer and sleep too. I observe fast and suspend observing them; I marry woman also. And he who turns away from my Sunnah has no relation with me'. (Bukhari).
The officiator concludes the ceremony with prayer (duOa) for the bride, groom and their respective families, the local Muslim community and the Muslim community at large (Ummah).
After the consummation of the marriage, the groom holds a celebration banquet called a walima. The relatives, neighbours and friends are invited in order to make them aware of the marriage.<!--[endif]--> C ivil partnership: A civil partnership is a relationship between two people of the same sex, formed when they register as civil partners of each other, which ends only on death, dissolution or annulment it follows much the same course as a civil wedding ceremony just with different legalities
A civil partnership is formed once both individuals have signed the civil partnership document in the presence of a registrar and two witnesses.
There is to be no religious service during the registration, which cannot take place in premises that are either designed for, or are in use mainly for, religious purposes. In Scotland, however, some mainstream churches offer blessing ceremonies for same-sex couples.
Under the standard procedure, before registration, each party will usually have to give notice to the appropriate authority. Each party must have resided in the UK jurisdiction in which they intend to register, for at least seven days immediately preceding the giving of notice and there will, in most cases, be a fifteen-day waiting period after notice is given. In Scotland there is no minimum residence requirement to contract a valid marriage. During the waiting period, the proposed partnership is publicised and anyone may make a formal objection. If there is such an objection, the proposed civil partnership cannot be formed unless the objection is withdrawn or if the registration authority is satisfied that the objection ought not to prevent the formation of the civil partnership. Provided no objection has been recorded, or any recorded objections have been cleared, the registration authority must issue a civil partnership schedule at the request of either party upon the expiration of the waiting period. The civil partnership must then be registered within twelve months of the notice first being given.
Where permitted, civil partnerships may be registered at British embassies or consulates-general. For such registrations, at least one partner must be a British citizen. Overseas couples wishing to register their partnership in the UK, must reside in the country for seven days prior to application for the partnership, and wait a further fifteen days before the civil partnership may be formed.
The Gender Recognition Act 2004 allows transsexual people to change their legal gender. Before doing so, they must dissolve any existing marriage, which can be a pain for a married couple who wish to stay together after one party has changed gender. Under special provisions of the Civil Partnership Act, such couples are able to dissolve their marriage and enter into a civil partnership the same day. S ikh. UK marriage laws allow for temples to be registered for the solemnisation of marriages according to the rites of the Sikh religion. The legal requirements to be fulfilled are those that apply to civil marriages. However, if the building in which you wish to marry is in a different registration district to where you live, you need to prove to the superintendent registrar that the building is your normal place of worship. If you cannot do this, you will be required to give notice in the registration district in which the building is situated after having met the necessary residency requirements.
If there is no building in the registration district in which you live, you will be permitted to marry in a building in the nearest registration district that has one.
A superintendent registrar may also need to attend the ceremony. If the building in which you intend to marry is not registered for the solemnisation of marriages, you must arrange a civil ceremony beforehand to comply with the requirements of the law.
The wedding: Sikh weddings are traditionally arranged marriages where both families help to choose the marriage partner for their offspring. Both of their individual agreement is sought before marriage is considered.
An engagement (called the Kurmai) is not deemed necessary but, if desired, is typically performed a week before the wedding and is usually conducted at the temple or at the groom's home. If the ceremony is performed in the temple, the Gurdwara, it starts with Milni where, after prayers, the families greet each other with the ritual exchange of garlands. Kirtan (a simple ceremony and hymns from Sri Guru Granth Sahib) is performed as people enter the Gurdwara and, with men and women sitting separately, they stand for the Ardas (the common Sikh prayer). It is traditional for the father of the bride to place one end of the groom's patka (scarf) over the bride and groom's shoulders into the bride's hands, signifying her new life with her husband. After the ceremony, the friends and families unite for the Langer (traditional meal).
If the ceremony is performed at home, the bride's family visit the groom's house and in both cases he is usually presented with a Kara (bracelet), kirpan (sword) or Indian sweets. The bride's family are presented with an Indian outfit and sweets as gifts for their daughter.
Different Sikh families have different customs for preparing the bride before her wedding. Some families have five of the bride's close relatives to stay with the bride for the days leading up to the wedding day. They comb a mixture of henna, oil and water through the bride's hair, and paint her hands and legs with henna designs. On the day before the wedding, a party of the groom and his relatives, known as the Braat (various spellings), are welcomed, given food and entertained. The party either stay at the bride's home ready for the early morning service, or travel straight to the wedding location. |
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